Ride Wit Me
by jono74656
Summary: Post-Duets, Kurt is lonely and tense. Tina keeps offering to lend him Mike, but he declines. So, for his birthday, she makes him a Mike of his own. Warning, contains Clone-a-Willys and smut. Now the first part of the 'Clone-A-Willy' Verse.


**AN: This one is based on a plot bunny that woke me the other night. Literally, I woke up with this idea running through my head. Wrote it down, and promptly went back to sleep. When I woke the next morning I looked at it and was all **_**wtf? Where did this come from? **_

**This should be interesting...**

**Unlike most of my other fics, the lyrical title has nothing to do with what episode its from.**

**Disclaimer: It's not mine. Wish it were. But it's not.**

**Warnings: Sex Toys. **

Ride Wit Me

Tina sighed to herself as she watched Kurt walk out into the parking lot; despite his frankly amazing duet with Rachel she could tell that her friend still felt lonely at McKinley. No matter how hard the rest of the Glee club tried, none of them, not even Rachel with her two gay dads, understood what it was like for Kurt every day of his life.

She smiled up at Mike as he came down the hallway to stand next to her, curling into his side for comfort, wishing more than ever that Kurt had someone he could go to for comfort the way she had her boyfriend. She (and most of the club) had hoped Sam might be gay, or at least bisexual, and his easy acceptance of Kurt as a duet partner (something none of the other guys in Glee would have done) had only fanned the flames of this hope. But obviously something had happened there, something that had only deepened the shadows in Kurt's eyes. She had her suspicions Finn was somehow behind that, the vicious look Sam had given him while Kurt was explaining he had to break their partnership due to 'sensitivities' being very telling. He would pay.

Tina had expressed her willingness to 'lend' Kurt Mike, but once the brunette had finished blushing he had told her that A: He didn't want to make Mike uncomfortable and B: He wouldn't do that to a friend. Also C: Being as how Mike wasn't gay he doubted he could get it up for Kurt anyway. Tina had accused Mike of being inconveniently straight after that conversation, demanding to know if he couldn't go bi-curious for Kurt. But alas no, and she'd been looking forward to watching them too.

Kurt's birthday was coming up, and as usual she had no idea what to buy him. Any clothing she bought him would inevitably be off-season or simply 'hideous' and she always bought the wrong cosmetic products. Normally she'd just take the Puckerman approach and buy him porn, but gay porn showing up on her parent's credit card statements would raise some serious eyebrows. Besides, she knew enough to know he didn't share the majority of her kinks. The last time she'd been to his house she'd taken the opportunity to do some snooping while he was settling his dad on the couch, and had come up with nothing, no porn DVDs, no porn magazines (the muscle mags April had given him having been donated to Tina a couple of weeks after the addled blonde had skipped town), and no sex toys. She'd been frankly surprised, given how tightly wound he was she'd been sure he must have had some outlet. But no. What a waste of good fantasy material.

That evening, as she ground against Mike on her couch, Tina had an **idea**.

...

It had taken a humiliatingly embarrassing conversation with Puckerman, a fair chunk of her allowance, and a conveniently timed distraction to sneak the package past her parents, and she had the basis of her present for Kurt all ready. Now to talk Mike into letting her 'share' him with Kurt after all.

...

Mike took one look at the box she was holding and burst into helpless laughter, folding over at the waist and clutching his stomach as he literally sobbed with mirth. It took several minutes for the fit of hilarity to pass, and even then he chuckled as he traced the words on the packaging. "Clone-a-Willy? If you were gonna buy one of these kits you couldn't find one with a less ridiculous name?"

She huffed, "Blame Puckerman, I just provided the cash, he did the purchasing... Though to be fair he did get advice from Santana, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised this is what he came up with."

She explained, Mike's eyebrows inching up his forehead with every minute that passed. When she'd finished he rubbed his temples for a long moment, "To summarise, you've decided Kurt's wound too tight and you want to make him a personalised sex toy, in glittery purple rubber, no less, for his birthday. And you want me to be the... model?"

Tina nodded eagerly, "I know glittery purple is a little cliche and stereotypical, but the flesh tones in the kit don't match you, and the only other option in this one is glitter and purple, I blame Puck, he probably bought this one on purpose."

"Did you tell him what it was for?"

"NO! I wouldn't do that to Kurt, Puck would never let him hear the end of it. I allowed Puck believe it was for our own kinky sex games." Mike blushed at this, but didn't completely averse to the idea, and she smirked inwardly, she'd had Puck buy a spare package of the moulding powder in case she messed up the process, but now she had other plans for it.

She raised an eyebrow at Mike and then looked significantly at his pants. He let a filthy smile cross her face and calmly shucked his t-shirt over his head, her mouth watering in a Pavlovian response to the sight of his abs. He stood, swiftly unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them and his boxers down in one movement. She favoured her boyfriend's naked perfection with a possessively lecherous smirk, and gestured for him to lie on the bed. He did so, then just looked at her.

"Get yourself hard for me, Mike. I just gotta mix this stuff up in the bathroom."

Mike trailed his fingers down his torso, tweaking his nipples, then skating over his gorgeously defined abs until he reached his crotch. He wrapped one hand around his half-hard cock and started to stroke gently while the other hand cupped his balls, one long finger occasionally trailing along his perineum. Forcing herself to look away, or else she'd climb on the bed with him and forget all about what she was meant to be doing, Tina quickly went to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her to block out the visual, if not the still audible moans Mike was making as he wanked on her bed.

Grabbing the bowl she'd brought up earlier, she poured the moulding powder from the kit into it, then added water, using an old wooden spoon that she'd been meaning to throw away anyway to stir the mixture together til it reached what the instructions indicated was the desired consitency. She quickly transferred the mixture to a jug with a spout, to make pouring it easier. Exiting the bathroom, she stopped short at the sight of her boyfriend, back arching up off the bed slightly as he stroked his now fully-hard cock lazily, not trying to get off (yet), just staying hard like she'd asked him. He was such a good boyfriend.

One hand cradling the jug, she threw the kit on the bed next to him with the other, "There's a moulding tube in there, you just stick your dick and balls in it, then let me know when the inside goes solid again, ok?" Mike just stared at her as she continued to stir the moulding mixture, making sure it didn't solidify, but he obediently extracted the tube from the kit, and moved to the edge of the bed before slowly sliding his cock and balls into the tube, making a strange face which she assumed was due to the texture of the contents.

It took a couple minutes for the moulding tube to set, and Mike spent it pouting at her, until she finally sighed, "We can take a shower after this okay? I'll even scrub your back." She added a wink to the end of the sentence, and the pout was immediately wiped off his face, replaced by a grin of nearly puppy-doggish enthusiasm.

Mike finally indicated that the moulding tube had set, and gingerly removed the tube from his cock and balls with a wince, passing it over to her and cradling himself as though checking for damage, she half expected him to start talking to himself as he carressed himself. She quickly and carefully poured the rubber mixture into the mould, using the spoon to ensure that none of it ended up on her carpet. That done, she placed the mould inside her nightstand where it wouldn't be disturbed, and chased Mike in the direction of the bathroom.

...

The next evening, Tina carefully pulled the mould out of her nightstand and looked up to see an almost excited look on Mike's face, as eager as she was to see the end result. She pressed one finger to the end of the moulded shape, verifying that it had in fact set as advertised, then wrapped her hand round the base, pulling as hard as she dared, not wanting to damage the merchandise. She was about to give up and hand it to Mike to try when she felt it begin to shift, and seconds later the finished dildo slid free from the mould into her hand.

Tina set the mould aside and carefully raised the dildo to eye level, inspecting it to be sure it was fully set, and that there were no rough or sharp areas which could interfere with its primary purpose. Satisfied she handed it to Mike, then while he was distracted she wrestled his pants down, grinning at his confused expression, "How else are we supposed to be sure it's an exact replica?" So saying she licked a stripe up his hardening cock before wrapping her mouth round the head and swallowing him down. Mike cursed, and she pinned his hips to the bed with her arm to keep him from bucking up and choking her. After a couple of minutes of (if she said so herself) amazing head, she pulled off and took the dildo from Mike, holding it next to his erect cock.

"Aside from the colour, a perfect match. I'm sure Kurt will be very satisfied with 'you'."

Mike flushed brilliantly, and she laughed before tossing the dildo onto the bed and going back down on him with a wicked glint in her eye.

...

It was Kurt's birthday in a week, but she didn't want to give him _this _gift in front of everyone else. She wrapped it in bright purple tissue paper, then slid it into a plain box along with a bottle of lube she'd also had Puck pick up. (Well he'd picked up two, but she was keeping the other one for her and Mike now that they'd moulded a second dildo.)

She'd arranged to go over to Kurt's, obstensibly for a girl's night, but really to give him her and Mike's gift privately. Kurt had suggested tonight because his dad had insisted he was well enough to go out with Mrs Hudson to see a movie, and Kurt didn't expect him home for several hours.

The brunette greeted her with a hug and an (only slightly forced) smile, and after the usual pleasantries he suggested they go down to his bedroom, as he'd already pulled out a selection of movies for her to choose from. Before he could turn the tv on, however, she pulled the box out of her bag and presented it with a flourish (and a hideous purple bow tied round it).

Kurt raised an eyebrow, but she just smiled at him. "It's your birthday present from me and Mike, Kurt. I thought it might be best for you to open it away from prying eyes."

Kurt's expression turned intruiged, and he pulled the bow from the box, throwing it into the bin with a satisfied look (it really was hideous). He opened the box, tossing tissue paper everywhere in his enthusiasm before he suddenly froze, eyes widening, and just looked at her. She reached into the box and pulled out the dildo and lube, placing them on the bed, then took the box from him and dropped it on the floor.

"You've been really tense Kurt, and when I get like that I go to Mike. You wouldn't let me lend you Mike, so I made you one of your own."

Kurt's eyes suddenly fixed on the dildo, and his cheeks flamed scarlet. "This is..."

"An exact replica. Believe me, I measured them both to make sure. Obviously Mike's not glittery purple, but other than that they're identical."

Kurt slowly picked the dildo up, turning it over and over in his hands as he got a feel for it, before he tentatively wrapped a hand round the shaft, stroking it gently.

Tina took it from his loose grip, and treated Kurt to a lecherous grin, "Come on then birthday boy, get down to your birthday suit so you can enjoy your present!"

Kurt went almost purple, and wheezed slightly, but she just wrapped him in a hug and stroked his back gently, the dildo discarded to one side. He slowly relaxed, but seemed unable to meet her eyes. She huffed and placed one hand under his chin, tilting his head up to look into his gorgeous eyes. "If you're not comfortable, you don't have to."

He shook his head slightly, "It's not that, but I've never even..." Here he stopped, clearly struggling with words, before making an illustrative gesture with his fingers.

"I have, Mike really likes it."

Kurt blinked at her, and she could see his cock hardening in his pants. Then he abruptly stood and began shucking his clothes, folding them neatly into a pile. He raised an eyebrow at her, "Now would be best Tina, before I have time to remember how awkward this all is."

Tina grinned, and quickly opened the plastic wrap on the lube bottle, setting it to one side as she looked up and was stunned into immobility at the sight of a naked Kurt Hummel. His skin was almost luminescent in the dim basement lighting, and she itched to run her hands and tongue over the defined musculature he usually concealed under layers of fabric. Her mouth watered at the sight of his cock, long and thick, larger than his slender frame would have suggested. Then he turned around and she had to stop herself from lunging at him and sinking her teeth into his succulent ass.

She instead leaned over and tugged him down onto the bed, before pressing her lips to his in a gentle kiss, "This isn't gonna make anything weird is it?" She questioned softly, and was relieved when he shook his head. "Of course not, according to most movies this is how most girl's nights go anyway." That made her chuckle, and she received an answering grin that warmed her.

"How do you want this Kurt? Would you prefer to be laying down? Or on your hands and knees?"

"According to most web sites, hands and knees makes it easier the first time."

She looked at him for a minute, and he blushed slightly, "Just cause I thought it would never happen didn't mean I didn't want to know what to expect if it did."

She laughed at that, and kissed him again, then patted him softly on the ass, "Go on then, hands and knees and stick that gorgeous ass in the air for me."

Kurt squawked, but did as she asked, and she smoothed her hands over the soft skin of his back, then down his slightly shaking sides, soothing him and relaxing him. She reached for the lube, snapping it open; Kurt twitched slightly, then relaxed and spoke softly, "Why can I smell cherries? Is the lube scented?" Tina grinned, "Flavoured." She poured a small amount onto her fingers, rubbing them together to warm the slick then stroking them down the crack of his ass and over his hole several times, Kurt's moans interjected by the query "Why would you need _flavoured lube_?"

Tina smirked, "This is why." and suited actions to words by leaning forward and laving her tongue over Kurt's hole, the brunette whining in shocked arousal as she lapped up the flavoured slick, tongue circling his hole several times before she rolled it and stabbed at his pucker several times. He was gasping and moaning, and she could see his hard cock, see the precum that dripped from it onto the sheets. She wrapped a hand round him and gave one firm stroke, and as he gasped and relaxed she pressed her tongue forward until it penetrated the tightly muscled ring. Kurt moaned and pressed back against her and she smiled against his ass as she began to tongue-fuck him mercilessly, relishing every cry and moan she wrung from his body. Mike enjoyed this but was never this responsive.

After several minutes her jaw began to ache slightly, and she pulled away, ignoring his groan of complaint as she slicked up her fingers and pressed two straight into him, his slender body bucking at the intrusion. She thrust her fingers in and out a couple of times, then angled up and in, searching for that magic bundle of nerves that never failed to reduce Mike to an incoherent mess. She found it, and with a triumphant smile she rubbed her fingers over it; Kurt released a high keening noise and his dick suddenly jumped in her hand. She could tell he was already close, so she backed off his prostate, instead splaying her fingers to spread him wider, adding a third when she was sure he could take it, scissoring them to open him for the main event. Within minutes Kurt was pressing back onto her fingers, trying desperately to get them deeper, get them back on his prostate.

Tina just smirked, judging him ready, and pulled her fingers free. She grabbed the dildo even as Kurt was protesting at the loss of her fingers, and drizzled a generous amount of lube onto the moulded faux cock. She pressed the blunt head to Kurt's hole, noticing immediately that he'd tensed up again. Her free hand rubbed at his thighs and hips until he relaxed, and she slowly pressed the dildo forward, Kurt's well-prepared hole yielding easily to the toy. She sank it into him slowly until the rubber balls touched his ass, then left it in him as she leaned round to look at his face. He looked back at her, and she wanted to burst into happy tears at the expression of contentment, the happy little sigh as he was taken fully.

She put her hand back on the toy and pulled it out halfway before thrusting it back in, and he moaned at the sensation, automatically pushing back further onto the rubber cock. After a few more slow, gentle thrusts she paused, "You ready for the real thing?" Kurt just panted at her for a minute, then gasped out, "For God's sake, fuck me already!"

Tina grinned, then pulled the dildo out until only the head was inside Kurt, then slammed it back in hard. He threw his had back and released a deep moan, so she did it again, and again. Setting a face pace that soon had him moaning and panting, her name interspersed with obscentities she'd never heard pass his lips before. She pulled the dildo completely fee, watched his hole flutter for a second, then thrust it back in balls deep, rubbing over his prostate as it went. He whined at that, and reached down to stroke himself, but she batted it away, wrapping her own hand around his flushed length, stroking him in time to the thrusts of the dildo.

Two more hard thrusts, each time brushing his prostate, and he was crying out her name in a broken voice as his cock pulsed in her hand, ropes of cum shooting out and slicking her hand obscenely as she stroked him through his orgasm. He came down from the high with a shudder, and she slowly eased the dildo from his body, being as gentle as she could be. He still winced slightly when she pulled it free, and she could see in the spasmodic fluttering of his hole that he'd already gotten used to having something inside him.

He rolled over to stare up at her, flushed and sweating, eyes dark with arousal, and she reflected he'd never looked better. She raised her hand, still slick with his cum, and waited until his attention was on her before she slowly, lingeringly, licked her fingers clean. Fellating them one at a time until every trace was gone. Amazingly, he still managed to blush at that action, and she grinned and planted a kiss on his sweating forehead.

Kurt panted softly for a moment, staring up at her with an expression she'd never seen before, before he simply said "Thank you."

"You're thanking me? That was one of the hottest things I've ever seen! I wish I'd thought to set up a webcam so Mike could watch!"

Kurt just stared at her, before muttering something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like "Should've brought him with you."

Tina just smiled beautifically, setting the dildo to one side for Kurt to no doubt sterilise, then slowly standing up. "As much fun as this has been, and believe me, it has; I think I'm gonna go have Mike take care of this epic ladyboner for me."

Kurt looked slightly nauseous at the mention of lady-anything, and she smiled at him, even post-coital he was adorable.

"Before I go, was 'Mike' satisfactory?"

Kurt looked contemplative for a second, "Immensely satisfying, yes. Having experienced this I might take you up on it next time you offer to 'lend' him out."

Tina licked her lips at the thought, then grinned, "Only if I get to watch."

Kurt just waved a hand at her, "Of course."

With that delicious thought in mind, Tina climbed the stairs out of the basement already planning for next time. As she closed the door behind her, she heard echoing from the basement "Best. Birthday present. Ever!"

**AN: Okay, that random bunny took more writing than I expected...**

**Despite the epically ridiculous name, the Clone-a-Willy is a real product, Google it. All the instructions for the kit came from the website.**


End file.
